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Expect my delight then a couple
of years ago to have a chance
to see a really fun, talented
group of musicians in the group
of the Ian McFeron Band, based
here in the Northwest. www.ianmcferon.com
Along with great guitars, a jazz
drummer and sing-along vocals,
they have a wonderful fiddle player
in Alisa Milner who features prominently
on one of my favorites—“Tell
Me What You Want.” It’s
a sort-of love song, of course,
and the poor singer is lamenting
his love who is mystified by his
inability to hold on to her, make
her happy, please her, and the
chorus rings out with the exasperated
refrain: “tell me what you
want!” I thought about asking
Ian if I could have this refrain
to use as a theme song for one
of my favorite leadership topics:
specificity. (I know you were
worried this newsletter was going
to be a love advice column—read
on!)
Let me tell you a secret: you
are not as specific as you think
you are. I’d love to
tell you there is rampant exception
to this rule, but there is not,
and before you think I’m
pointing fingers, remember that
I’m always willing to tell
you about the things I’ve
messed up so that you can be smarter
than I! Or, as Ian says, so you
can “spend a little less
time on the floor.”
What’s the big deal about
specificity?
“Specificity is HUGE!”
I’ve heard this more than
once in my interactions with clients
and workshop participants after
we utilize the Core Dimensions
exercise to identify behaviors
that impact workplace trust. For
some reason, when we stop to reflect
on the impact high specificity,
or the lack of specificity, has
on our productivity, trust, morale,
profits, customer service—we
recognize how we might have fallen
short, how we might have not offered
enough information up-front to
create the kind of result we really
wanted.
Consider these Four Benefits for
High Specificity:
- No Guessing: why do we make
people try to read our minds?
We can get so caught up in
thinking they should know
this or I’ve
asked them before or
they know what I like!
Who says they should know?
Who cares? Really, you can
stand there, not asking for
what you want, and you get
to be right all by
yourself, and you don’t
get what you want. How’s
that feel? Is it working for
you?! Don’t make people
guess; be specific, to the
point, and see how the percentage
of getting what you want increases.
- Spirit of Excellence: when
we are willing to ask specifically
for what we want, sharing
our ideas, our concerns, etc.
then the person receiving
the information from us believes
we are invested in their success!
We’ve told them how
they can be excellent. We’ve
shared our expectations or
standards or benchmarks for
high achievement. Instead
of them having to figure it
out from a lack of information
or no information at all,
we give them what they need
to move forward and move up!
It’s one of those win-win
things.
- Desirable vs. Undesirable:
Focus on what you want, not
what you don’t want.
This is key! Sometimes, when
we think we are asking for
what we want, we are actually
just creating a better picture
of what we don’t want
in the person’s mind.
We give them a list of “don’ts”
instead of a list of “do’s”
and we forget that when the
brain hears “Don’t
slam the door!” the
image created is that of the
slamming door.
- Be Honest: Sometimes we don’t
ask for what we want because
we’re afraid to be honest,
or we’re afraid the
person will say “no.”
My speaking coach, Patricia
Fripp, says, “the answer
is always ‘no’
if you don’t ask!”
Don’t be afraid of “no.”
Be afraid of holding on to
a request, a wish or a desire
and the risk of it going fallow—remember
Langston Hughes’ poem,
“A Dream Deferred”?
It festers or dries up like
a raisin in the sun! In the
workplace, we might be afraid
of the person’s response—what’s
the worst/best that can happen?
You can deal with
it.
While I’m humming “Tell
Me What You Want,” I thought
I’d share what high levels
of specificity might look like
if you choose to do it, or if
you’d like to receive it!
In an organization:
high specificity means that
- Information is shared openly
and freely. There are multiple
ways to find out what’s
going on in the organization,
including in-person, e-mail
and print.
- Job descriptions and performance
expectations are specific
enough so that people know
what excellence looks like
and how they can improve,
if they need to.
- Everyone’s job function
is aligned with the mission
and vision of the organization—which
is also clearly stated and
regularly reviewed.
- The values of the organization—the
way we agree to treat each
other and our clients or customers—are
described in behavioral terms.
- There is a clear strategy
for managing ongoing change—people
have forums for discussion,
input and questions.
On a team, high
specificity means that
- The goals and outcomes are
really clear, including deadlines,
processes and methodology
- Roles and responsibilities
are agreed upon and carried
out—follow-up and follow-through
are the accountability benchmarks
- The leader is specific but
does not micromanage—micromanaging
is a lack of trust not an
overabundance of specificity!
- Specific feedback and recognition
are part of the team’s
process
Within a Person-to-Person
relationship, high specificity
means that
- If I have an issue or problem,
I’m willing to come
to you directly to resolve
it
- I focus on desirable rather
than undesirable behaviors
- I listen and respond with
active listening to make sure
I understand
- I offer feedback and praise
when appropriate
Step up your specificity—you
won’t be sorry! And p.s.
you can share this with your special,
specific person—it works!
Who said I didn’t care about
your love life? “Tell me
what you want!” can be your
refrain, too.
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