| I knew things were
precarious when our new governor announced that she was
going to
‘trim the fat’ off government. This meant
over 1000 management jobs were on the
chopping block. Then my boss called me in to say, “I’m
not saying that you’re losing
your job, but I want you to know what’s going on
in the organization.” I had only been
there a year; I had no seniority. Thank goodness for her
willingness to be honest with me,
otherwise, a few months later, when her boss chose to
leave me a voicemail to tell me
he’d decided to cut my job, I might have been devastated
rather than just mildly
hysterical.
I thought this was a terrible way to learn about my
subsequent termination, so I
confronted him about it the following Monday. “I’m
confused,” I said, “I can’t think of
any reason why, especially based on our past experiences
as colleagues, you might
choose to leave me a voicemail to tell me my job is being
cut. Can you help me
understand why you made this decision?” He said
he wanted to give me as much notice
as possible. I said that while I appreciated those three
extra days, I would’ve more
appreciated an opportunity to speak to him in person.
This was pretty much it—a couple of weeks later,
I sent him an e-mail to find out when he planned to do
this. His reply: “I’m not sure. Let me get
back to you on this.” Finally, I called him again
to confirm my last day. “I’ve never been terminated
before,” I said, “is there anything special
I’m supposed to do or sign?” His reply: “No,
I don’t think so.” You get the picture? Honestly,
I actually felt sorry for the guy rather than sort of
indignant that I was having to fish around for details
of my demise. I kept thinking I might offer him some tips
on how to do this so that both of us could feel a little
bit better
about the final outcome—although I wasn’t
convinced he was concerned about me in the
least. And yet, I knew he wasn’t a bad guy, though
he had, no doubt, missed the session
on “how to let someone go and still have some class.”
Here's what I might have offered:
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1. Be honest and sincere.
Things happen. Organizations restructure and
change and
grow. Sometimes, jobs end, but everyone I know will
tell you they’d rather have
the hard truth than spend anxious moments trying to
figure out what’s going on
and how they’ll be affected. Even if you can’t
share all the information, share
what you can and own it. Be real. People know when you’re
not.
-
2. Show empathy. One of the
greatest investments to make in another human being
is empathy. This is a sincere demonstration that you
understand what they are feeling and why they're feeling
this way. Even if you don't know how they feel because
you've never been in the same situation, listen.
Reflect without judgment or pity. Remember this is an
individual person-one size does not fit all. Be willing
to listen to this person sitting across from
you.
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3. Be helpful. Be willing
to talk about options, whether within or outside your
organization. Ask them how you might be helpful, and
follow-up. Offer connections, resources or contacts.
Ask them what they’ve considered and what options
they might have. Even the smallest effort will communicate
that you care about them as a human being, and that
they are not just a number or a job to be
cut in tough budget times.
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4. Wear those shoes. Remember
Atticus Finch? In To Kill a Mockingbird, he
tells his daughter Scout that she needs to consider
how she might feel wearing the other person’s
shoes, then she can make decisions and form opinions.
Have you been here before? If not, what would you appreciate
in this situation? If this person were a member of your
family or someone for whom you cared deeply, how would
you treat them? How would you demonstrate your humanity
and humility? I’m thinking a voicemail might not
be your choice to hear about your termination.
-
5. Remember the relationship. It is, ultimately, about relationships.
You never know when your paths may cross again. You may never
know how you might be
connected to this person in another way. Additionally,
how do you want to be
remembered—‘that’s the guy who fired
me’ or ‘that’s the guy who was kind
andrespectful in difficult times’?
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