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As leaders, whenever you set goals,
make resolutions or proclamations,
everybody's watching. (Actually,
they're always watching you, but
I don't want to make you paranoid!)
Do you wish you had some sort
of magic pill to make you stick
to these promises to yourself?
A Harry Potter wand-poof! Procrastination
is gone! How about an inner executive
coach to prod you along and hold
you accountable?
You already have the key-you may
be choosing not to use it.
Believe it or not, this is all
about self-confidence. That's
it-there's your magic pill and
special spell to cast upon yourself.
So simple! So easy! I have to
remind myself about this all the
time, and many of you who know
me would say, "You? You struggle
with self-confidence?" Doesn't
make any sense, does it?
I'm fortunate to belong to an international
group of independent consultants
who work with their clients across
the globe. We meet with our mentor,
Alan
Weiss, about once a year at
our Mentor Summit. We look forward
to these events because we get
to see old friends, make new connections,
and we always learn something
valuable about our work, ourselves
and living successful, entrepreneurial
lives. All of us are committed
to improving our clients' condition,
and yet all of us are very different
in our approaches, our business
models, our areas of expertise.
It is a fascinating, stimulating
group of successful people. Many
have lifestyles, relationships
and adventures that are enviable.
They are the crème de la
crème.
I was sort of surprised on my first
trip to the Mentor Summit to find
that Alan spent one entire morning
discussing the importance of self-confidence.
He's very inspiring, but he's
not much of a cheerleader-there
is no 'rah-rah' in his approach,
which is practical, and matter-of-fact,
and brilliant in its simplicity.
You have to do this. Stop making
excuses. What's the alternative?
I thought for sure the lecture
was meant just for me-I was new
and inexperienced and a bit frightened,
actually. All the other people
around me were already successful;
they had MBAs from Harvard; they
made seven figure salaries. He
must be talking just to me.
He wasn't. I would venture to say
that every year all these people
show up for lots of reasons, but
one important one is to remind
ourselves that acting from a place
of self-confidence is not only
our job, but also the key to our
success and happiness. If not
you, then who? This is different
from arrogance, pomposity, and
self-centered self-absorption.
It's not about putting people
down or drawing attention to yourself
or constantly stealing the limelight.
This is about knowing what you
know, figuring out what you don't,
and doing something about it.
You can demonstrate self-confidence
and still be diplomatic, tactful
and have good manners.
I won't spend time venturing into
the potential causes of a lack
of self-confidence or self-esteem.
Sure, there are probably factors
in an environment that can affect
your sense of self and diminish
your optimism; however, I'm not
sorry to say that I have little
tolerance for anyone choosing
to be a victim in the sense that
we might claim we have no choice,
no power, no control. We always
have a choice! In fact, our only
choice is to choose how to respond
to what happens to us-to consider
our perceptions and change our
minds is the mark of evolution.
How can you impact your self-confidence?
How can you create this kind of
change? Here are three keys:
- Take Risks. Take risks. I'm
not talking about skydiving, but
you can do that if you want to!
I'm talking about doing something
you want to do but you keep talking
yourself out of it. You keep coming
up with the longest list of excuses
about why you're not doing it,
asking for it, or getting started.
Choose to do something you're
not absolutely sure of. Summon
courage and consider your options.
Ask for what you want. Try something
new.
- Balance Belief and Pragmatism.
So, maybe you've always dreamed
of something but you have no idea
how to get started? Or maybe you've
got something you know you need
to do-it'll make a big difference
in your big picture-but let's
be realistic, you don't have a
clue! First, believe in yourself:
don't waste a lot of time coming
up with your list of non-existent
or minimal qualifications, just
believe that if you think you
can do this, there's probably
an indication that you can. Second,
figure out what you don't know
so you can find out, research,
consult an expert, or get a mentor.
Talk to others who've done it
and find out what they learned
and what advice they might have.
Or, take a class, read a book,
figure it out!
- Go. Go! It's just so hard to
convey this idea without borrowing
Nike's "just do it!"
It's a brilliant phrase and I
for one am happy it joined the
vernacular. What on Earth are
you waiting for? Stop standing
in your own way! Take baby steps
if you have to, but go! Don't
wait until you think you've got
more money, more time, more smarts,
less weight, yada yada yada. There's
never a perfect time. Now is the
perfect time.
Funny thing about self-confidence-it
definitely grows and changes.
You can build it, nurture it,
diminish it, challenge it, re-invent
it. The key, of course, is YOU.
You are the reason your resolutions
and proclamations will come true
or not. It's not the weather,
your spouse, your boss or the
political climate. You have to
say 'yes' and 'no' so that you
can do the things you need to
do for yourself. I guess this
is the one time I can actually
say, "Hey! It is all about
you!
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